A New Beginning

I walked into the doors of LS Regional High School feeling like a new person. I felt as though hundreds of eyes were fixed on me, yet it was merely my wild imagination. My heart skipped a beat and my face flushed, but these signs of nervousness disappeared as people began to say "hey Aziza" like any other day. My fears of being rejected vanished and I felt the same again - well not the same, for I was different; I was now a muhajabah.

Many of my friends knew I was Muslim because I was constantly asked why I wasn't eating during the month of Ramadan. I would explain to them what Ramadan was, but this was all my friends knew about Islam. I had never bothered to educate them further.

Since the last Ramadan, I had been thinking about Islam and my duties of a Muslim more than usual. I began contemplating hijab and thought to myself, "I'll start hijab when I go to college." Why then? Because it would be a new environment, a new stage of my life, the start of a new beginning; it seemed like a good time to make a big change.

As Ramadan passed, I was constantly fighting a battle with myself. I was still pondering over Islam and my life in general. "Four years is a long time to wait (to start hijab)," I kept telling myself. I became distressed just thinking about how long four years was in reality.

I then decided I would start hijab after freshman year was over, so I had the summer to adjust. I would start sophomore year as a new person. "Sophomore year," I thought to myself, "that's still quite a few months away." I was still frustrated and did not want to wait so long to start hijab.

As April began, I thought to myself, "I am going to do it. I am going to start hijab and nothing is stopping me!"

Alhumdulillah for my open-minded teachers. I asked them if they could give me five minutes to speak to the class about what I was about to do: start hijab. They excitedly agreed with warm, encouraging smiles. In each class, I walked to the front of the room and slowly began to talk. I told them about Islam and how it is very important to me. I explained what the hijab is and why Muslim women are commanded to wear it. My peers sat listening, quietly and attentively, amazed by what I was saying. They sat in awe interested in my beliefs. Many asked questions and begged to see what I looked like with a hijab on. I happily put it on to show them. Their smiles showed they approved of it and liked it; they were happy I was going to wear hijab.

My classmates told their friends, who told their other friends, and soon the whole school knew about me starting hijab. People I didn't even know were constantly approaching me and telling me how much they appreciated what I was doing, how much they admired me, how much they supported me and how they wish they had the will power I did. All this before I even started hijab. That following Friday on April 13, 2001, I became a muhajabah for life.

The decision I made that day is one I will never regret insha'Allah. Since then, despite some of the obstacles that were thrown in my path, I have been the happiest girl alive. Many other Muslim girls have told me how I've inspired them and they wish to be more practicing. These positive comments only motivate me to work harder and become an even better Muslim, for these comments show me I am on the right path and insha'Allah will stay on it. I thank Allah Subhana wa ta'ala for the strength to do this, the guidance He has given me, and this personality, which has helped me have these qualities where people respect me, admire me and look up to me. And I also thank Him for giving me the mentality in which I do not care what others think; I solely care what He thinks.

Seeing the World in a New Light

I walked into Pine Street Inn, a shelter for men and women, holding Safiya's tiny hand, hardly noticing that my grip continued to tighten as I walked through the shelter. I had never been in such a place and seen such different people -- people who didn't have adequate clothes, didn't have food, didn't even have a table to put food on, couldn't own a house. I had always imagined what homeless people lived like, but on this trip, it finally came into perspective: it was real.

Noticing dozens of eyes on me, I looked straight ahead, afraid to come into eye contact with anyone. I saw men, young and old, sober and drunk, sprawled across the floor sleeping, or leaning against the walls shouting at us, "helloo ladies." Seeing them frightened me along with the rest of the MAS youth group.

However, as I continued to walk through the shelter with my group and guide, Scottie, my grip on Safiya's hand began to loosen. Earlier I was glad to have a child's hand to hold; it made it seem as though I was protecting her; however, I realized I was just trying to protect myself. Finally, my fears calmed.

My stomach felt queasy, not out of fear, but out of depression. My heart clenched trying its hardest to fight back tears. Unshaven men looked upon us with deep eyes. Their eyes seemed to tell the stories of their lives, stories so powerful my eyes could hardly meet theirs.

As I looked around more carefully, I remembered these men and women were people, people like me. But they weren't like me. They didn't even have the basic necessities of life. I started to feel out of place wearing expensive clothing and carrying a nice purse. God's blessing over me contrasted with the surrounding in which I was. I began to realize how blessed I am.

I realized how much we all take for granted, forgetting to thank God for the wonderful things we've been blessed with. Many of us fail to see the blessings of this life and focus on the negative aspects of life. Visiting the Pine Street Inn reopened my eyes to reality. I remembered how many blessings have been bestowed upon me by God. Things finally started to come into perspective.

After leaving Pine Street, my outlook on life has changed. One would say, "how can a person change from one trip," but in reality, it is quite possible. I can hardly put into words what emotions have been going through me since I left, but my life has been greatly impacted. Before I say "my life is so hard!" I think back on what I saw at Pine Street. Alhamdullillah, all praises to God, my life is more than bearable. The Qur'an repeatedly states, "On no soul do We place a burden greater than it can bear."

Thinking back on everything I saw, I admire Scottie and the others who work there. Whether one is volunteering or being paid for working there, it takes more than just money to get someone to work in a place like that. It takes a heart. It takes strength. Many times we lack this sympathy for others and forget about the world around us. Scottie and those like her deserve a lot of credit for having the drive to help others. "Those who (in charity) spend of their goods by night and by day in secret and in public have their reward with their Lord: on them shall be no fear nor shall they grieve." (The Qur'an 2:274).

"The blessed month"

Wake up, wake up Hamad, his mother said. It's time for sahur.He woke up, but when his mother was out of the sight he went back to sleep again. His mother came into the room again, and he did the same thing again. His mother was angry now, so she decided not to wake him up.

In the morning when he woke up for school, he hardly remembered anything. The kitchen was empty nobody was there.

His mother was feeding the chickens, since they don't have to fast. Where is my breakfast? he asked his mother. There won't be anything to eat until sunset. Why? he asked. Because IT'S RAMADAN, she said.Oh!Oh! how come I missed it, now he remembered everything. He went to school. There everybody in his class did fast. He was sorry for himself.

Their teacher told them about Ramadan. His Islamic studies teacher told them, that you shouldn't sleep too much in Ramadan. You should finish one Quran at least. The door of heavens are open and the door of hell will be closed in this blessed moth. The shaitan and other devels are chained. They can't bother you. So don't be lazy and pray as much as you can.Make a lot of duas especially in the night of power.Hamad raised his hand. Yes? the teacher asked. Which night is the night of power? he said. Allah had hid this night in the last 10 nights, many scholar believes it's the 27th night and others say it could be 29th; but nobody knows for sure which night it is the teacher said. So it could be in 21st,23rd,25th,27th or 29th another student asked. Yes, you are right, the teacher said. They were still discussing when the bell rang.

When Hamad came home from school. He didn't even asked for food. He made wudu and went to the Masjid.It was time for Asar.He read the Quran when he came back.At Iftar he hardly ate anything.After dinner he did his homework and went to the Masjid to pray Isha and Taravi with his father.

Please wake me up for Sahur,I won't go back to sleep, I promise he told his mother before going to bed.Insha Allah, his mother said.

He felt so much peace inside him.

The Idiot

An idiot may be the name given to the ordinary man, who consistently misinterprets what happens to him, what he does, or what is brought about by others. He does this so completely plausibly that - for himself and his peers - large areas of life and thought seem logical and true.
An idiot of this kind was sent one day with a pitcher to a wise man, to collect some wine.
On the way the idiot, through his own heedlessness, smashed the jar against a rock.
When he arrived at the house of the wise man, he presented him with the handle of the pitcher, and said:
"So-and-so sent you this pitcher, but a horrid stone stole it from me."
Amused and wishing to test his coherence, the wise man asked:
"Since the pitcher is stolen, why do you offer me the handle?"
"I am not such a fool as people say," the idiot told him, "and therefore I have brought the handle to prove my story."

Poem Of The End

It was early in the morning at four,
When death knocked upon a bedroom door,
Who is there? the sleeping one cried.
I'm Azrael, let me inside.
At once, the man began to shiver,
As one sweating in deadly fever,
He shouted to his sleeping wife,
Don't let him take away my life.
Please go away, O Angel of Death!
Leave me alone, I'm not ready yet.
My family on me depends,
Give me a chance, O please prepense!
The angel knocked again and again,
Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,
Tis your soul Allah requires,
I come not with my own desire.
Bewildered, the man began to cry,
O Angel I'm so afraid to die,
I'll give you gold and be your slave,
Don't send me to the unlit grave.
Let me in, O Friend! The Angel said,
Open the door, get up from your bed,
If you do not allow me in,
I will walk through it, like a jinn.
The man held a gun in his right hand,
Ready to defy the Angel's stand.
I'll point my gun, towards your head,
You dare come in, I'll shoot you dead.
By now the Angel was in the room,
Saying, O Friend! prepare for you doom.
Foolish man, Angels never die,
Put down your gun and do not sigh.
Why are you afraid! Tell me O man,
To die according to Allah's plan?
Come smile at me, do not be grim,
Be Happy to return to Him.
O Angel! I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to take Allah's Name.
From morning till dusk,I made my wealth,
Not even caring for my health.
Allah's command I never obeyed,
Nor five times a day I ever prayed.
A Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
But no time had I to repent.
The Hajj was already FARD on me,
But I would not part with my money.
All charities I did ignore,
Taking usury more and more.
Sometimes I sipped my favourite wine,
With flirting women I sat to dine.
O Angel! I appeal to you,
Spare my life for a year or two.
The Laws of Quran I will obey,
I'll begin SALAT this very day.
My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,
And keep away from self conceit.
I will refrain from usury,
And give all my wealth to charity,
Wine and wenches I will detest,
Allah's oneness I will attest.
We Angels do what Allah demands,
We cannot go against His commands.
Death is ordained for everyone,
Father, mother, daughter or son.
I'm afraid this moment is your last,
Now be reminded, of your past,
I do understand your fears,
But it is now too late for tears.
You lived in this world, two score and more,
Never did you, your people adore.
Your parents, you did not obey,
Hungry beggars, you turned away.
Your two ill-gotten, female offspring,
In night-clubs, for livelihood they sing.
Instead of making more Muslims,
You made your children non-Muslims.
You ignored the Mua'dhin Adhaan,
Nor did you read the Holy Quran.
Breaking promises all your life,
Backbiting friends, and causing strife.
From hoarded goods, great profits you made,
And your poor workers, you underpaid.
Horses and cards were your leisure,
Money-making was your pleasure.
You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
With the very sick, you never sat.
A pint of blood you never gave,
Which could a little baby save.
O Human, you have done enough wrong,
You bought good properties for a song.
When the farmers appealed to you,
You did not have mercy, tis true.
Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.
There is no time for you to repent,
I'll take your soul for which I am sent.
The ending however, is very sad,
Eventually the man became mad
With a cry, he jumped out of bed,
And suddenly, he fell down dead.
O Reader! Take moral from here,
you never know, your end may be near
change your living and make amends
For heaven, on your deeds depends.
If this poem inspires you,
it can help someone too.

The story of the rose

There is a story that Charlemagne sent a most perfect rose as a gift to the caliph Harun Rashid.
He gave it to his gardener and told him to plant it with great care and as soon as the first rose came from it to bring it to him. The gardener carefully planted the rose in a beautiful part of the garden.
The next day a crow came and ate the rose. Trembling, the gardener told the news to Harun Rashid. He told the gardener not to worry for the punishment of the crow will be the same as that of the rose.
A few days later a snake came upon the crow and killed him. The gardener told the news to the caliph who again told him that the fate of the snake will be the same as the crow.
The next day the gardener was working in the garden when he spotted the snake. He picked up an axe and killed the snake. The caliph told him that his fate would be the same.
As it happened the gardener did something wrong and was thrown in jail. The day he was to be hanged he requested to see Harun Rashid.
He reminded the caliph of the rose, the crow and the snake and said that if the caliph would show forgiveness toward him, then he would save himself from a like fate.

Eight Things to Learn

One time a scholar asked one of his students, "You have spent a long time with me, what have you learned?"
He said I learned eight things:
First, I looked to the creation. Everyone has a loved one. When he goes to the grave, he leaves his loved one. Therefore, I made my loved one my good deeds; that way, they will be with me in the grave.
Second, I looked to the verse, "But as for him who feared to stand before his Lord and restrained his soul from lust," therefore, I struggled against my desires so I could stay obeying Allah.
Third, I saw that if anyone has something with him that is worth something, he will protect it. Then I thought about the verse,"That which you have is wasted away; and that which is with Allah remains," therefore, everything worth something with me I devoted to Him so it would be with Him for me.
Fourth, I saw the people seeking wealth, honor and positions and it was not worth anything to me. Then I thought about Allah's words, "Lo, the noblest of you in the sight of Allah is the most aware of Allah, so I did my best to become aware of Allah in order to gain nobility in his sight.
Fifth, I saw the people being jealous towards each other and I looked at the verse, "We have apportioned among them their livelihood in the life of the world", so I left jealousy.
Sixth, I saw the people having enmity and I thought about the verse, "Lo, the devil is an enemy for you, so take him as an enemy", so I left enmity and I took the Satan as my only enemy.
Seventh, I saw them debasing themselves in search of sustenance and I thought about the verse, "And there is not a beast in the earth but the sustenance thereof depends on Allah", so I kept myself busy with my responsibilities toward Him and I left my property with Him.
Eighth, I found them relying on their business, buildings and health and I thought about the verse, "And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, He will suffice him", therefore, I put my trust only on Allah.
Translated by: Jamal Zarabozo
If you want the Rainbow, you got to put up with the rain....